The Congenitor
by Arikae
Summary: The events on Vissan caused a rift between Captain Archer and his Chief Engineer.


**Author's note: This story takes place after the Congenitor. I felt bad for Trip after he got a dressing down from the Captain so I started writing this piece. Hope you like it.  
**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.**

 **Warning: unbetaed**

Charles 'Trip' Tucker the third buried himself in Engineering. He was keeping himself busy. It had been over a week since they left Vissian and learned of the suicide of the Congenitor Trip had befriended. The Captain was right. Trip didn't act with his head but his heart and in the end, was responsible for the death of an innocent. And here he thought first contact was going so well. Trip still didn't believe it was right to treat a being with intellect the way the Vissians did with the Congenitors. It was no better than when African Americans were treated as slaves. It was how many natives of countries on Earth were treated when the British began dominating the seas in the 16th century. Trip didn't think he would be seeing that type of treatment in his lifetime. But then he never really believed he would be exploring deep space. He shouldn't have been surprised.

One week after the incident and the effects were still with him. Not only was a life lost but Trip worried that he had damaged his friendship with the Captain. He had always respected Jonathan Archer and he had to admit that he was disappointed when the Captain refused refuge to the Congenitor. Trip understood now why he refused. It would have made any further development in the relationship between humans and Vissians difficult. Still, he wondered if there was any difference. The Congenitor died. That will always be a part of their history with Vissians now.

Trip and Jon have barely had a conversation since the incident, short of their regular meetings to report on the running of Enterprise. He rarely attended the dinner in the Captain's mess, hence making their interactions even scarcer. He didn't think Jon minded, after all, he never asked about his absences.

It wasn't just that Trip felt guilty about all that has happened. Jon was also different around him. When they spoke, it was formal. Jon's tone was commanding. He spoke to Trip the way he would speak with anyone else aboard the ship. Trip wanted to talk to the Captain. The guilt he felt from being the cause of the Congenitor's death was eating at him but he didn't have the same relationship with the captain anymore and he didn't deserve to have his attention to talk about it.

The change in behaviour between the Captain and Commander hadn't gone unnoticed. T'Pol had asked the Captain about his change in behaviour with Trip while they walked to the bridge together. They didn't know that Trip had overheard the answer. "I've known Trip for almost ten years now and he's always been the same. Wherever I went, I would request for Trip's presence because he's the best engineer in Starfleet but I'm starting to wonder if I've been doing him a disservice all this time. He's become too complacent around me. If I treated him the way I treat everyone else, he wouldn't have dared to do what he did on Vissian. Who knows what could have happened to their society if Trip's influence on the Congenitor had spread. It could've led to war between the races. It could've ended their existence."

That was as much as Trip heard before the Captain and Sub-Commander moved out of hearing range. He sighed and started back to Engineering. The Captain no longer considered him a friend, which meant he could no longer act like it. As much as he wanted to earn back his friendship with Jon, for now, he would respect his wishes. He couldn't just turn up to the Captain's mess or strike up a conversation on the way to the bridge. He was a subordinate and had to act it.

"That did not happen, Captain. The Commander acted illogically but that is a human flaw." Jon rolled his eyes at the typical Vulcan comment. "I believe he had good intentions."

"Of course he did." Jon never denied that. Trip was one of the kindest men he knew and the most honourable. "But he should know better. He's a Commander in the Starfleet. He knows the rules for first contact, yet he acted like a first year recruit. He needs to learn that his actions have consequences."

"I understand. However, it is illogical for you to push aside your friendship without speaking to the Commander first." Jon frowned at T'Pol. It was not typical advice from the Vulcan.

"I'm starting to think us humans are rubbing off on you." Jon smiled.

"Don't be absurd."

* * *

Trip sat in the mess hall with a cup of coffee. It was 0300 and the place was empty. He read the engineering data from the data pad. They had just flown through a nebula. The gases were not toxic to Enterprise's engines but since they have left it, Trip had a feeling of unease. The engine didn't feel right to him but the readouts are not showing anything abnormal. Trip let out a long tired breath and sat back, rubbing his eyes. Maybe he was just tired. He'd been having trouble sleeping in the past week. He was so tired, in fact, he didn't hear the door to the mess hall open behind him.

Jon was surprised when he saw Trip sitting at the table in the mess hall. He didn't need to see the man's face to know he was exhausted. "Tr…" He coughed, stopping himself from call the Commander by his nickname. "Commander. Isn't it a little late?" He winced when Trip jumped from his seat.

"Captain…Sir." Trip stood up straight and was only just sort of giving a salute.

"At ease, Commander." Jon frowned. He knew he'd been treating Trip differently but not even the rest of the crew had to stand at attention when he entered the room. He put his cup in the replicator and ordered a chamomile tea. Trip sat back down at the table, frowning. The Captain had a replicator in his own quarters. "My replicator is playing up. Keeps giving me black coffee." Jon answered Trip's inquisitive look.

"Oh. I can take a look at that for you, Sir. Probably just crossed wires." Trip picked up one of the four of his data pads and resumed reading.

Trip had reported to Jon about his concern about the engines since they left the nebula but Jon didn't feel or see anything wrong with the Enterprise. "Haven't found anything?"

"Nothing out of the unusual." Trip mumbled absently until he realised he was doing it again. "Sir." He added, mentally smacking himself over the head for slipping into that comfort zone with the Captain.

Jon sighed, not knowing why he felt so frustrated when Trip acted like his subordinate even though it was what he had set out to do. It didn't feel right. He sat down in the chair opposite Trip. It was only then that he saw how run-down Trip looked. "Go back to your quarters and get some sleep, Commander. That's an order."

Trip paused and put the data pad down. He stood up, collecting each pad. "You don't need to tell me it's an order, Sir. I'm an officer under your command. Everything you say is an order." Trip again mentally kicked himself. He didn't even know why he said that. Maybe he was trying to let his Captain know that what he was doing was working. Trip understood where he stood when it came to the Enterprise. "Good night, Sir."

Jon watched his engineer leave without responding. He sat there for five minutes in silence stewing over what Trip had said. _Everything you say is an order._ What did Trip mean by that? Was he telling Jon that they were no longer friends? Jon wondered why he was shocked. It was what he'd been aiming to do. He wanted to put some distance between them to ensure what happened on Vissian didn't happen again. Trip clearly got the message, so why did it feel so wrong? "Damn it." He cursed to himself.

* * *

 **One hour later…**

Trip bolted up in his bed. Something had set off an alarm in Engineering. He grabbed his uniform jacket and bolted out of the room. Lights were blinking around the ship. He rushed to engineering and found his second in command, Kelby, tapping at the controls. "What's going on?" He demanded.

"I don't know, Sir. The power to the engines keeps flickering in and out. The warp drive is still running but impulse and thrusters are out of control. _"Commander Tucker, report."_ Jon demanded over the comm.

Trip sighed. He pressed the button on the comm. "Not sure yet, Sir, but I'm going to have to drop us out of warp. The systems are erratic and I don't want to lose our warp engines."

" _Do what you have to."_

"Aye, Sir." Trip ran over to the warp core and shut it down manually. He then ran back to the computer. Impulse engines were losing power. Trip tried to shut it down from there but every time he regained control, he was locked out again. "Damn it!" He rushed over to the impulse engines and shut them down manually as well. That was when something strange happen. It seemed like something started moving through the conduits. He followed the strange blur and watched as it stopped at the controls of the thrusters. Trip frowned and reached for the manual control but this time as soon as he touched the lever he was thrown back, hitting the bulkhead, hard. "Commander!" He heard someone call out to him but couldn't make himself respond. His head was spinning. "Sir, are you alright?" Finally, he managed to get his bearings again. It was Kelby.

"Help me up." Trip grunted, holding out his hand. Kelby gripped it and pulled him to his feet.

"What is that, Sir?" Kelby's hand was shaking as he pointed to the strange human size, fuzzy, blur thing, standing near the engine. Trip took a step towards the entity but stopped when sparks started flying.

"Get everyone out." Trip and Kelby ushered all personnel out of engineering.

Trip didn't leave though. This was his engineering and he sure as hell wasn't going to leave the engines to whatever this was. He pressed the button on the comm. "Commander Tucker to T'Pol. Scan engineering for any signs of abnormalities. I think we may have a stowaway."

* * *

On the bridge, Jon turned to Malcolm. "Go help Trip." He commanded, forgetting about not using the commander's nickname.

"Yes, Sir."

Jon turned to T'Pol. "Anything?"

T'Pol shook his head. "I'm not reading any alien life forms on the ship, Captain."

"Then what the hell is in Engineering?" Jon growled.

* * *

Trip narrowed his eyes at the main computer. Letters were appearing on the screen but it was gibberish. "Are you trying to talk to me?" More random letters appeared with some actual words appearing in between. It was almost like the way Hoshi learned a new language. "I'm Commander Tucker. Who are you or what are you?" The words on the screen were starting to make sense now.

 _Need help. Need home._

"You want to get home?" Trip guessed.

 _Need home._

"What are you? Do you need us to take you home?" There was no answer. "Do you have a form you can appear to me as or are you non-corporeal?"

 _Yes_

"You are non-corporeal?" _Great. I do not like non-corporeal life forms,_ Trip thought to himself.

"Commander, are you alright?" Malcolm asked as he made his way over to him with Fuller and Rush behind him.

Trip unconsciously rubbed the back of his head, wincing at the lump that had formed there. "I'm fine. Looks like we're dealing with a non-corporeal being."

 _Need food._

"What do you eat?" Trip looked at Malcolm, weary of why a non-corporeal being needed food.

 _Power._ With that the lights in Engineering flickered out. It went dark for a second before the back-up generators kicked in.

"Ah crap." Trip suddenly realised what was happening. The being was attracted to energy. "Tell the Captain to shut down everything!" He ordered Malcolm before running around Engineering and manually shutting down everything being very careful not to touch anything when the being hovered around. It was a good thing it didn't move very fast. He needed to stop the being from draining the Enterprise of all its power. If it did that they would be dead within hours without life support. For now, they had a chance as long as they could save their fuel. "Shut down the backup generators as well."

"We won't have life support!"

"We'll be fine for about three hours. I have an idea." Trip turned on his torch and grabbed Malcolm on the way out of Engineering. "Knew there was something wrong!" Trip growled as he made his way through the ship. "We need to get to the bridge." He passed Kelby on his way out. "Gather the crew and stick around here. I'm going to need all hands on deck soon." Kelby nodded.

Malcolm turned to his men. "Stay here with them."

"Yes, Sir!"

Trip called out to any non-essential personnel in the ship as he passed him or her to stay where they were and not to panic. They didn't get the chance to make a ship-wide announcement before shutting down all power.

"How do we get to the bridge without the lifts?"

"Jefferies tubes."

Malcolm groaned. He was really hoping there was another way he didn't know about.

* * *

Jon paced around the bridge. It was frustrating not knowing what was happening on his ship. Malcolm only mentioned something about a non-corporeal entity and to shut down all power. He did it because when it came to Engineering, Trip was the boss. Jon knew Enterprise better than anyone else on the ship but Trip was second to none when it came to the engines. He should've trusted Trip when he said there was something wrong with the engines. He had a sixth sense when it came to them.

"The current atmosphere on Enterprise will only sustain us for two hours and 48 minutes." T'Pol reported to him. "I pray the Commander's plan will take less than that." Jon just looked at her darkly. _Touché._

* * *

Malcolm worried as he listened to Trip's breathing while they climbed their way up the ladder in the Jefferies tube. It was hard work but Trip's breathing was uneven and heavy. "Commander, are you okay?"

"Never better, Mal." Trip answered drily. "I love climbing up five levels through a small tube. I do this in my free time."

Malcolm shook his head at the sarcastic reply. "I regret asking."

"I'm fine, Mal."

"You don't sound fine." Malcolm countered.

"I'm sore but no more sore than when I finish kicking your butt at basketball." Trip puffed, wincing at the pain in his back. He didn't feel it until now. The adrenaline must have been masking it.

"You've never kicked my butt at basketball."

"I do when I have the doctor on my side." Trip grunted as he pulled himself up the rungs of the ladder.

"Same can be said for me!" Trip laughed but stopped talking. They needed to conserve energy.

* * *

Hoshi yelped in shock when the hatch next to her station opened with a loud crash. She shone her torch down and almost dropped in relief when she saw Trip's head pop out. "Sorry, Hoshi. Didn't mean to scare you." Jon walked over and gave him a hand up. "Thanks, Sir." Trip wiped at the sweat on his brow before helping Malcolm out of the tube.

Jon took in his Chief engineer's appearance. He was exhausted to say the least but he couldn't worry about that now. "What the hell is going on, Commander?"

"The life form in engineering is feeding off the Enterprise's power. If we didn't shut everything down it would've drained her dry." Trip explained, wincing as he rubbed his left side. It didn't go unnoticed. Jon took in every grimace, wince and breath Trip made. "I have a plan to get it off the ship but we have to lose one of our shuttle pods."

"Where is it now?"

"I don't know. Probably still in engineering considering that's where the power was." Trip closed his eyes as a dizzy spell hit him. "Whoa!" He shook his head and felt a hand grab his elbow, steadying him.

"You okay?" Trip opened his eyes to see the Captain looking at him in concern.

"Fine, Sir." Trip gave him a small smile. "I need to power up a shuttle pod. It should sense the power and head there. Once it's in I can fly it out of Enterprise. When it's far enough away, power her up and beam me out of there."

"Sounds like a good plan, but someone else should pilot the shuttle. Enterprise needs you to power it back up." Jon reasoned, although that wasn't the only reason why he wanted Trip to stay on board Enterprise.

"Kelby and my crew can handle powering her back up. I've spoken with the entity. It's not stupid. It's more likely to follow me onto the pod than anyone else." Jon couldn't really argue with that logic. "T'Pol, can you help my team in Engineering?" T'Pol nodded. "Make sure they power up the warp drive before beaming me back on board. I'm sure this entity can travel through space. I don't want to risk it coming back on board when it senses the engines running again."

"Understood."

Trip turned back to the Captain. "Do I have your permission to proceed with the plan, Sir?"

Jon sighed. Two weeks ago, Trip would've just slapped him on the arm and said, 'See you when I get back or don't leave without me.' He missed that Trip. "I'll see you when you get back, Trip. Be careful."

"Yes, Sir." Trip nodded. He didn't even notice that the Captain had used his nickname for the first time since they left Vissian. "Mal, I'll need you to manually trigger the docking bay doors." He got down and crawled back into the Jefferies tube, followed by T'Pol and Malcolm.

The bridge was quiet. Only Travis and Hoshi were left on the bridge with him. Jon realised as Trip left to execute his plan that he hadn't said enough to his Chief Engineer. In the past week, he had gotten so used to not talking to him that when the time came for some heartfelt words, Jon failed to provide them. It didn't sound like a dangerous plan but Jon didn't know how the entity had attacked Trip when he tried to shut down another engine. "Are you okay, Sir?" Hoshi asked her Captain.

"I will be when Trip gets back." Jon answered her.

Hoshi smiled. It was a relief to hear that answer. After the tense week, she was expecting to hear something more along the lines of; "I will be when this is over" or "when Enterprise starts moving again." But the Captain's answer showed only concern for his friend. The friendship was still there and she prayed it would be more evident when Trip returned to them.

* * *

Trip helped Malcolm into the EV suit. He needed it otherwise he wouldn't survive the cold of space and the suction when the docking bay doors open. Trip was locking the helmet into place when another dizzy spell hit him. They were getting worse and took longer to disperse. "Maybe I should go." Malcolm suggested when Trip stumbled.

Trip shook his head. "No. I need you here. I'll be fine."

"You don't look fine." Malcolm worried. He had watched his friend's health deteriorate over the last week.

"Don't worry about me." Trip smiled at the tactical officer. "I'll come back." It was then that he realised there was a chance that he may not return. If he didn't then he would have left everything unresolved with the Captain. "Do me a favour?" Malcolm nodded. "If something goes wrong, tell the Captain that I'm sorry for what I did. He did set a good example for me…for all of us…I just wanted to help her." Malcolm saw the struggle in his friends face as he tried to find the next words. "Tell him that meeting him was the best thing that ever happened to me."

Malcolm gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Get back here so you can tell him yourself."

"Just promise me you'll pass on the message if anything goes wrong."

"I promise." Malcolm said, "You know I will."

"Thank you. It's been good working with you, Mal."

"Stop talking like you're not coming back. It's a simple job. I can do it in my sleep." Malcolm said, and then added, "It was an honour, Commander."

* * *

Trip made sure Malcolm was tethered securely inside the docking bay before getting into the shuttle pod. He prayed he was right and the entity would follow him to the shuttle. Trip powered it up and waited. It felt like he was waiting for hours when the lights blinked. He smiled. "Hello." Trip held a thumb up to Malcolm. Trip could see the blur hovering around next to him. Malcolm pulled the lever and the docking bay doors opened. The clamps and the tether on the EV suit kept Malcolm secure though he knew he'd still be getting whiplash from the strong pull of space. Trip tapped at the controls and the shuttle flew out of Enterprise. Malcolm quickly shut the doors. Trip was on his own now.

Trip could feel the shuttle pod losing power as the entity fed greedily on its engines and prayed that Enterprise would power up in time. He couldn't get too far away otherwise the transporter would not work but he couldn't stay too close otherwise the entity could re-board Enterprise.

* * *

Kelby and the team worked liked the well-oiled machine the Commander trained them to be. T'Pol was impressed with the way they worked. She wasn't really needed, so instead headed over to the transport pad and got ready to beam Trip back. When she got there, she was surprised to see the Captain there. "Captain, you should be on the bridge."

"Travis has orders to get us out of here as soon as Trip is back on board. I need to be here when Trip gets back."

To T'Pol, it was illogical for the Captain to be here but she understood. Jon wanted Trip to know that he still considered him a friend. That he wanted to ease the tension of the past week. Jon was regretting his actions and he wanted to fix it, starting by showing Trip that he was here for him. T'Pol simply nodded her head and stood by her Captain.

Communications came back on with the engines but Jon didn't dare to use it yet. He didn't want to tip the entity off. He smiled when the lights on the control panel lit up. "Almost there, Trip."

* * *

Trip waited nervously as the entity drained the shuttle pods power. He got nervous when the computer started beeping and then words started appearing. _Why did you come out here?_

"No reason. I like piloting the shuttle pod. It's not often I get to pilot these things. It's usually Travis." Trip answered as casually as he could.

 _Lying._

Trip felt the shuttle pod turn around on its own. "Crap." He tapped the comms. "It knows this is a trap. Any time now, Enterpr…AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" A thousand volts shot through Trip's body.

* * *

"Trip!" Jon called.

" _Warp is online, Captain!"_

T'Pol immediately locked onto Trip and beamed him aboard. Jon watched the unconscious Trip materialise on the transport pad. "Trip!"

"Go to warp, Ensign." T'Pol ordered. It was a relief when she felt Enterprise jump into hyperspace.

Jon rushed over and felt for a pulse. He waited too long before he felt the pulse under his fingers. It was faint.

"T'Pol to sickbay, send a medical team to the transport room." T'Pol knelt down next to the Captain. "How is he?" She could smell the burning of flesh. "It seems the entity electrocuted the Commander."

"Trip, wake up." Jon begged his friend. He shouldn't have let Trip go. He was already weak from lack of sleep. "Stay with me, Commander." He hesitated before adding, "That's an order." He still remembered the conversation he had with Trip in the mess hall. _You don't need to tell me it's an order, Sir. I'm an officer under your command. Everything you say is an order._ He remembered the pang he felt in his heart at those words. "No, it's not an order. I'm begging you. Don't die."

Phlox arrived with his team and quickly got the commander onto the stretcher, taking him back to sickbay.

* * *

Trip woke up with a pounding headache. His arms, back and chest ached. He could barely move save for his head. "Hey." Trip turned his head to the voice. It was the Captain. "About time you woke up." He opened his mouth to speak but his lips and throat were too dry. "Here." Jon scoop a spoon of ice chips in his mouth. "Better?"

"Thanks." His voice was barely a whisper.

"You've been unconscious for two days." Jon revealed. "You really scared me."

"Two days…" Trip frowned as he tried to move his arms. "Why can't I move?"

"Give it a little time. Phlox said he was surprised you survived. You got hit with 1000 volts of electricity. The dermal regeneration did a lot of the healing but your skin is skill raw and your muscles are strained from the convulsions." Jon told Trip what the doctor had told him. "You're lucky your organs weren't fried."

"Did it work?" Trip asked of the trap for the entity.

Jon nodded, "It did, but we almost lost you. I don't know what I would've done if you didn't come back alive."

Trip closed his eyes. He could feel sleep pull at him. "I'm okay, Sir."

Jon sighed, "Would you stop that? It's only me here. You don't have to be so formal."

Trip wanted to tell him he was wrong. He was under the command of Captain Jonathan Archer and he should act like it even if they were alone. He wanted to say a lot to his Captain but he couldn't keep his eyes open. "I'm…sorry." He managed before letting sleep take him.

Jon knew why Trip was apologising. When Phlox told them Trip might not survive the first twelve hours Malcolm delivered Trip's message. He wanted to give Jon the chance to reply while Trip was still with them. Jon didn't. He didn't want to talk to a man who couldn't hear him. He wanted Trip awake and aware to hear what he had to say.

Jon laid a hand against Trip's brow. He was still warm, something that worried the doctor. After two days on the IV, Trip's body should've kicked the fever. However this fever had a strong hold on Trip, slowing down his recovery rate.

It had been two days of neglecting his duties as Captain as he stayed vigil at his best friend's side. He had wanted to stay until Trip woke up and knew he still had a friend in his Captain before leaving. He couldn't forgo his duties any longer. At least Trip knew he had stayed by his side. As for assuring Trip of their friendship, that would have to wait until a later time. Before leaving, he gripped Trip's hand. "I'll be back, Trip. Get better soon. I want to see you at the Captain's mess again."

 **Three days later…**

Jon ran through the corridors of the Enterprise, cursing his stubborn Chief Engineer. "Clear the area, Lieutenant." He heard Phlox demand as he entered Engineering. He wondered why Malcolm was here. It wasn't a situation for his tactical officer. "Look at me, Commander." Jon could just make out the man sitting on the metal steps to the first landing in engineering. He was taken aback when Trip lifted his head at Phlox's orders, giving him a clear view of the man's pale and drawn face. Not only that, but Jon could see the perspiration from where he was. He felt his blood start to boil at how irresponsible and stubborn Trip was being. "I believe I cleared you for light duty, Commander."

"I was doing light duty, Doc. I was at the computer, running a diagnostic and doing a simple reset."

"And that's what caused this?" Malcolm, Trip and the doctor turned at the Captain's voice. "You look like you ran a marathon." Jon accused. "You should know better, Commander. The doctor's orders are as good as mine when it comes to your health." Malcolm got up to explain to the Captain what happened when Jon held up his hand. "Don't make excuses for him." The tension between he and Trip hadn't eased as he and the crew had hoped. Trip still remained distant and in the time he was healing, it was as if fate was playing tricks on them. Each time he visited, either the doctor was running a scan or Trip was sleeping after having been visited by other crewmen. He never got the chance to speak to Trip and by the time he was released from sickbay, Trip returned to the place they were at before the alien entity stowed away. All of this frustrated Jon to no end. He was at the end of his rope. "Disobeying an order from the doctor is the same as disobeying mine. I can write you up for this."

"Captain…"

Again, Jon wouldn't let Malcolm talk. "I want the Commander to explain."

Trip rubbed his eyes, after Phlox finished determining he didn't aggravate his concussion. It used to be so easy to be around Jon. Now it just seemed like everything he did was a mistake. "I was running a diagnostic on the tactical system. Malcolm said the targeting system seemed off."

"We pulled it off-line for five minutes while Trip manually reset the system." Malcolm took over the report, seeing how exhausted Trip was. "It was my fault. I didn't wait for Trip to put on the panel before turning the power back on. How is he, doc?"

"I'm fine, Malcolm. Just fried my brain a little." Trip joked, though the tiredness in his eyes told everyone it wasn't so far off the truth. He groaned, leaning his head against the railing. "Am I getting written up, Sir?"

Jon closed his eyes, regretting the comment and mentally kicking him. "No, Trip, you're not." He should've been more careful with what he said considering how things were between them.

"I'm going to recommend a full twenty-four hours of bed rest before returning to light duty again. Normally a small shock wouldn't be of concern, but your body has already been through one shock. This one might just cause a little trouble." The doctor read the readings from his scanner. "I will drop by your quarters at 2000 hours with a sedative to help you sleep. For now, go back and rest."

Trip looked at his watch. "Doc, it's only 1400 right now."

"Your quarters, now." Phlox ordered.

"Fine." Trip groaned, "Mal, the targeting systems should be reset. You just need to re-calibrate it."

"Thanks, Trip. Get some rest." Malcolm helped his friend to his feet.

"I'll make sure he gets to his quarters." Jon winced at the words. He didn't realise how it sounded until they had left his mouth. He hated this. He never used to worry about what he said around Trip.

"Not going to disobey your orders, Sir." Trip said as he started towards the exit. Jon sighed, knowing Trip took his words exactly the way he thought he would.

Malcolm gave him a sympathetic grimace. He knew the Captain wanted to settle things between himself and Trip but it was almost as if the universe was against him.

The Doctor followed them out. The sickbay was on the way to the Commander's quarters. "A word of advice?" Phlox and Jon walked a few steps behind Trip. He spoke quietly so that the Commander didn't hear them talking about him. "I suggest you make the time to talk to the Commander rather than wait for an opportune time."

"I've tried Phlox. I just keep missing him." Jon complained.

"You're his captain, Captain." Phlox pointed out. "From what I have observed. The Commander will not disobey an order."

"I don't want to order him to talk to me, Phlox." Jon responded. They both kept a close eye on the man walking in front of them.

"The Commander is not recovering as quickly as I had hoped. I believe it has something to do with his emotional state." They reached Phlox's stop. "Talk to him, Captain. Doctor's orders." He called out to Trip. "Commander, I want you in your bed as soon as you get to your quarters. I will have Chef bring you your meals." He shook his head when the only response he got from Trip was a wave of his hand. He didn't even stop or turn around.

"I'll make sure he does." Jon promised before catching up with Trip.

They walked in silence. Trip didn't even notice anyone around him. His whole body ached and tingled. He didn't mean to be disrespectful to the Captain but walking was taking up all his concentration.

Jon turned to Trip, about to break the tension when he saw how pale he was. "Maybe you should spend the night in sickbay." Trip didn't answer. "Trip?" Still there was no answer as he kept his head down, concentrating on his feet. "Trip!"

Trip jolted at his name, stopping and turning his head, looking daze. "Sir?"

"Let's get you to sickbay, Commander." Jon gently took his arm, about to guide him back the other direction when Trip shook his head.

"Captain, we're almost at my quarters. I just need to lie down." He begged Jon not to take him back to sickbay.

"Alright, let's go." Jon gave in, not wanting to say anything that Trip would consider an order. He pulled Trip's arm across his shoulders, taking some of his weight and lessening the burden.

"Thanks, Sir."

Jon wanted to scream at the 'sir' at the end of everything Trip said, but he kept his frustrations at bay, knowing how Trip would react. He didn't need any more misunderstandings between them.

* * *

Jon lowered Trip onto his bunk. Trip sighed in relief at finally being able to sit down. He's walked from here to engineering and vice versa a million times but this was the first time it felt like the longest walk in his life. He buried his head in his hands, hoping it would ease the spinning. "You should lie down." Trip's head shot up at the voice. He'd completely forgot the captain was still here. He frowned at the Captain, sitting at his desk, looking very comfortable.

"Thanks for getting me back, Sir, but I'll be fine now." Even he didn't believe his words when he heard his own tired voice.

Jon shook his head. Trip didn't look good but the doctor was right. He needed to get this sorted now. There was no point waiting when all the tension was hindering Trip's recovery. "I want to talk, Trip."

Trip paused as his nerves started creeping up the back of his neck. "Sir…"

"But we are going to set some ground rules first. The first one being, you are going to drop the 'sir' in your sentences." Jon insisted. Trip was confused. "We're friends, Trip and this talk is going to be between friends."

Trip pushed himself back until he was leaning against the wall, his feet hanging off the edge of his bunk. "From what I've gathered, you wanted things to be professional between us."

"Not when it's just us." Jon countered. "I don't want this tension between us. Trip, you're my best friend!"

Trip shook his head, "You were right. I got too comfortable and acted without consulting my captain. I don't want to jeopardise this mission, Sir."

Jon sighed, "Trip, you're not jeopardising this mission and I've made bad choices as well. That's all this was, a bad choice. I over-reacted. I didn't mean for us to end our friendship. Heck I don't even see how that's possible!"

"I shouldn't get special treatment, S… Captain." Tucker amended. He didn't want the Captain to interrupt him because of that small word. "The incident on Vissan wouldn't have happened if I was treated like every other crewman on this Starship." He didn't even realise he was repeating what he had overheard. He had repeated it in his mind for so long that he almost believed it was his own words.

Jon narrowed his eyes at the Commander. "I never told you that."

Trip looked up, "What?"

"I never said that to you. I told T'Pol but not you." T'Pol told him he should've told Trip so that the Commander didn't think he was giving him the cold shoulder but he never got the chance. Their conversations were short and limited to reports on the Enterprise that the chance never came up. That was his fault.

Trip shrugged, "Does it matter who you told? You did say it."

"Yes, it does matter, Trip. Because I should've told you, not anyone else." Jon leaned back in his chair. "I didn't expect T'Pol to tell you."

"She didn't." Trip revealed, "I overheard you and her talking. Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop." He rubbed his eyes, tired. "Sir, do you mind if we talk about this another time? I…"

"If you insist on the formality then I'm ordering you to talk. This conversation is now mandatory." Jon snapped.

Trip glared at him, which oddly made Jon feel better. He could see the old Trip in there now. "What do you want, Jon? I hear you tell T'Pol you want everything to be professional so I obliged. You wouldn't speak to me anyway unless you wanted a report so it's all good and fine."

"I want you to talk to me, Trip."

"Yeah, well it's too late for that. I don't need to talk anymore. So if it's alright with you, _Sir;_ I was ordered to rest. Wouldn't want to disobey the doctor and get myself written up."

"No, it's not okay with me. I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't want our friendship to continue. It wasn't what I set out to do." Jon begged him to believe him. "I was angry."

"And how the hell did you think I felt? She killed herself because of what I did! Did you even think about that? Did you even think about what I might be going through? I needed someone to talk to. I needed my best friend but the problem with that was he's the same person who reprimanded me and then left me in the cold!" Trip clenched his jaw, grilling out his words as he finally let himself feel the consequences of what he did. He'd been keeping it in for so long, because he didn't have an outlet. He had to keep it in because he knew the guilt would eat him alive. His lungs started restricting. It was hard to breathe. "I killed her." He gasped.

"Trip?" Jon rushed over. "Hey, look at me." He sat on his knees and pushed Trip back against the wall by the shoulders. "It's okay, just take slow breaths." Jon almost gasped at the pain he saw in his friend's eyes. He should've spoken to Trip sooner. He knew Trip well enough to know how he'd take the death of the Congenitor. For him to feel that responsibility and not be able to talk through it must have been torture. That's why Trip spent a week buried in Engineering and barely sleeping.

Jon felt Trip relax as he got his breathing under control. "That's it, Trip. You're okay." He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and sat back against the wall, next to Trip, stretching his legs out. "You're okay."

Trip shook his head. "No, I'm not, Captain. I killed her." He said when he could finally speak.

"No, you didn't, Trip. If anything, you gave her a life. Short as it may be, you showed her what it meant to be living." Jon reached over with his left hand and gripped Trip's left shoulder. "You did what you would've done with any other race. You showed her our culture. It interfered and it was wrong but you wouldn't be the Trip I know, if you didn't feel for her situation. You didn't kill her, Trip. She decided that on her own."

"Then why does it feel like I did?"

"I would be disappointed if you didn't feel that way." Jon turned onto his side. "You're the best man I know, Trip. I'm sorry I made you feel otherwise. I've been meaning to tell you that since Malcolm passed on your message."

Trip dropped his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. "He was only supposed to tell you if I didn't make it back."

"You almost died, Trip. Malcolm wanted me to know…in case." Jon smiled as Trip's eyes started to droop. One talk was all Trip needed. Jon hated himself for not doing this sooner. His inactions caused so much pain for Trip. "Hey, Trip?" He called as the Commander started nodding off.

Trip's head shot back up at the soft call. "Hmmm…"

"We're still friends, right?" Jon smiled at his child-like question.

Trip frowned and turned his head to his Captain. "Always." He managed before he drifted off. Jon smiled. He stayed like this for another minute before getting up and maneuvering the Commander until he was lying comfortably in the bed. Jon removed his boots and covered him with the blanket. "I'll see you when you wake up."

Jon pulled out his communicator. "Captain to T'Pol, how's everything on the bridge?"

" _Everything is calm, Captain."_

"Good. Call me if you need me." Jon told her simply before cutting transmission. T'Pol knew where he was so he didn't need to explain his absence on the bridge. He'd have to give her a day off after all this. He pulled out his data pad and began reading his officer's reports. Leaving this room was not a part of his plans for another several hours.

* * *

 **4 hours later…**

The doorbell to Trip's quarters rang causing him to stir. "Come in." He heard someone call. He opened his eyes, confused. He was in his own quarters but someone else had answered his door. "Thank you." Trip rolled onto his front and looked over at the door. He was surprised to see the Captain walking back with two trays of food. "Good, you're awake. Chef made you your favourite; catfish."

Trip pushed himself up, feeling more refreshed than he'd felt in weeks. "There's no catfish on board." He pointed out, wondering if the Captain was just pulling his leg.

"Edosian suckerfish. It was the closest he could get. He was assured by the doctor that they taste the same." Jon put down his own tray on the table and handed Trip his.

"Is that hush puppies?" Trip's face brightened at his favourite dish. It has been a while since he's had an appetite. "I'm surprised the doctor is letting me have this."

"It's all grilled. You'll have to wait until the doctor is satisfied with your health before you can have the fried stuff." Jon grinned at the look on the engineer's face as he took the first bite. "I take it it's as good as back home."

Trip nodded enthusiastically, "This is amazing. I feel like I haven't eaten in weeks."

"I'm going to guess that statement isn't far from the truth." Jon said as he had his own meal of fettuccine carbonara. He watched Trip's enthusiasm ebb a little.

Trip almost forgot what had happened between him and his captain. "I ate." He said quietly.

"Barely. You barely slept either." Jon sighed when the silence stretched. He wanted Trip to enjoy this meal. "Make me a promise, Trip?" He requested. Trip nodded without hesitation. "If you ever need to talk and I'm being a jerk, find someone to talk to. Don't keep it all in."

Trip gave a sad smile. "I know I make friends easily but there's only one person on this ship I trust with my thoughts. I can't just talk to anyone."

"Then make me listen because I don't want this happening again. I almost lost you." Jon put down his fork and leaned forward. "Enterprise can't afford to lose you. _I_ can't lose you."

Trip swallowed the lump in his throat. "I promise."

"Good." Jon resumed his dinner. "After this we can watch a game of water polo. Admiral Forrest sent me the latest game."

Trip laughed. He still didn't understand why Jon liked the game so much. Trip still preferred football but Water Polo was growing on him. "Aye, Captain."

* * *

 **The End!**


End file.
